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scribeofmorpheus · 1 month ago

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Dragon Age Veilguard: Love, Wisdom and Pride

A very long Dragon Age post!

Warnings for: Veilguard Spoilers, Solavellan spoilers.

Okay, so I will preface this by saying that this ‘analysis’ primarily focuses on Solas’ arc; both romanced and unromanced. It isn’t intended to be a romanticised analysis, though it is very much enamoured with how a romanced Solas and his relationship with Lavellan foils (and informs my reading/reception of) that of Solas and Mythal’s relationship in Veilguard. There is a relationship I will address that I feel does parallel Solas and Mythal! Scroll down to “Reading Between the Lines” if you wanna skip my little intro below. Spoilers follow.

Truth be told, I wasn’t ever expecting much in terms of actually getting a sequel to Inquisition. The game dev market went through a tumultuous reshuffle before the remake madness breathed life back into many studios. Bioware game sequels (Mass Effect Andromeda) were underwhelming and not as fleshed out since the EA acquisition. I absolutely believe Bioware would have been shunted had Mass Effect Legendary Edition not been so successful. EA’s reputation was always lacklustre and underhanded, but laying off or losing several head writers attached to Bioware with almost two decades of work under their belts was the biggest red flag. Trevor Morris not being asked to return in exchange for a ‘bigger name’ was also a grave warning that returning to the atmosphere, ambience and world of Thedas that we knew was getting further and further away from a plausible reality. And on top of that, there’s the fact Solas was never intended as a romance interest during early development of Inquisition.

Solavellan seemed doomed!

Despite this, I still held out hope for a sequel, but I feared we’d always be in permanent Solavellan/developmental hell. Heck, I’m still waiting for a Beyond Good and Evil sequel—the game released in 2003! So, actually witnessing people play Veilguard, seeing reactions to it, seeing memes and gifs and essay pieces (like this one), it’s like my community has awoken again, and I never thought I’d see the day. Yet I am not blind to the fact we were robbed of so much potential. I knew thing’s wouldn’t live up to re-emerging expectations when Dragon Age: Dreadwolf was rebranded to Veilguard—the shift seemed to imply less of a primary focus on Solas (and apparently, according to the artbook, the early concept art proves this implication correct).

Things seemed even more dire when the devs revealed there was no tapestry mechanic. I had only one hope: that with the Inquisitor’s confirmed return, we’d get at least some form of catharsis for our Inquisitors (Lavellans and otherwise), if we couldn’t get the conclusions to so many storylines present in each of our worldstates. My main fear was that they’d go the clichéd Ultimate Sacrifice route (which happens anyway, but in a way that makes thematic sense given the stakes and heavily blighted worldstate).

Suffice it to say, there was a lot of evidence that Veilguard would disappoint me in the end. But it hasn’t. It hasn’t lived up to the many expectations and marks of excellence that the Dragon Age world built itself into with the first three entries, that’s for sure, but I am also just so deprived of conclusions, of endings (whether it be because TV doesn’t exist in a sustainable format anymore or that comicbook movies are made with a sequel in mind, never letting anything just “Exit Stage Left” gracefully; or the fact we live in a regurgitating content cycle with late-stage-capitalism where anything remotely profitable gets turned into a caricature of itself: Squid Game, Star Wars, etc.). The cycle is so exhaustive that I am actually at a point where I can say I am content with the ending we were given (on a Solas/Solavellan front), Veilguard gave me relief, and beautiful, achy pain to boot. Though I would absolutely be disappointed by both the "non-romanced Solas" endings, given that Solas winds up either "dying alone, forever" or turns to Tyranny.

Now onto the actual review of that Solavellan ending, Mythal and themes of Love!

Note: I have only gotten the ‘best’ ending in my first playthrough, but I also thought the consequences of not maxing factions would be more… dire? Another note, pls, if your romanced Inky swore to stop Solas, how does that ending differ, if at all? Let me know, I’m dying here!

Sidenote: I’m working on writing another review about my views on the ‘sanitised’ worldstate, the new companions (and why I think Varric was the wrong choice to have as an advisor in the game, given that the Inquisitor or Morrigan would have been more impactful; and not to mention that Cole or Briala should have been companions), removal of the tapestry and what it means for the future of stories in Thedas (The Story We Lost is such a poignant compilation of the sheer volumes of lost lore and depth that I honestly think I won’t go as in-depth on that review as this one), and why I think Veilguard is my final entry into Dragon Age.

Reading Between the Lines: What Pride Hath Wrought

One thing is for sure, Trick Weekes flourishes when writing within the ambiguities and complexities of meaning. This makes every word uttered by Solas so great to dissect, he's a god of lies not because he 'lies' but because he's so careful with how he phrases things, what he holds back, and what he reveals.

For instance, the famous Trespasser exchange where Solas mocks his own follies with sarcasm by saying:

“What is the old Dalish curse? May the Dread Wolf Take you.”

Then a softer, more saddened and beaten-down Lavellan replies:

“And so he did.”

This irks him. Because he then realises in that moment that he absolutely did take advantage, but for some reason he frames it around sex rather than power because that’s easier to address than the latter. And he rejects the notion, even though he brought up the expression he knows to mean nothing close to a sexual inuendo for being ‘taken’, and yet he has the gall to try and derail the conversation by pivoting and saying:

“I would not lay with you under false pretences.”

When I first had this dialogue exchange, I was baffled, because did this mean that there was another meaning to ‘Dread Wolf take you’ that Dalish clans lost through the years, or was it more of a self-deprecating joke Solas had with himself because he, the Dread Wolf, romanced (took) a Dalish Inquisitor (away from her people’s beliefs, histories, past), and he found irony in the saying?

On the surface, “wouldn’t lay with you under false pretences” could simply mean “we didn’t sleep together” or “we did sleep together, but I wasn’t taking advantage as the Dread Wolf, I was simply Solas in your presence”. But I have recently thought of a more… ambiguous reading. Lay could have been used in a milder, more vulnerable way; to mean to be at peace, to be completely vulnerable, as if to sleep. In that sense, the phrasing becomes: “I could not be at peace with you because I was living a half-truth”.

I absolutely think the moment he feels he is truly beyond hope is when we see his expression of abject horror as Lavellan shouts: “I would have had you trust me!”. He realises then that he did fuck up, he did take the choice away from her because he thought he knew better, him and his pride led to a decision that hurt someone close to him, and he could finally see how wrong he was, how alike the entire situation became to Mythal’s treatment of him. Especially if Lavellan asks to go with him. Because he can see that despite the hurt, the lies and the betrayal on his part, Lavellan still wishing to join him draws too close to his first regret: following Mythal.

Whether he likes it or not, Solas’ love which could burn like a bonfire was directed at a powerful woman—a Herald, an Inquisitor—and inspite of her greatness of character, it still shaped her into someone willing to follow him on his dinanshiral out of love, much like he left the Fade and took physical form for Mythal. So now whenever I hear Lavellan shout “Var lath vir suledin”, Solas replying with “I wish it could, Vhenan,” changes drastically with the Mythal reveal, knowing he always walks away from the Inquisitor in Trespasser.

“I wish it could, Vhenan” sounds heavily like: “You would regret me, as I regret Mythal, and I cannot bear for that to happen us.” More poetically, it could read as: “I wish our love could overcome a duty that has lasted an incomprehensible amount of time, I wish I could change my nature, but then I’d be twisted into a demon, like the spirit of Wisdom in the Dales; and yet again, I would become your regret.” These two readings are very, very romantic. Realistically, given what we know of his kinship with Felassan, and how they were comrades and friends for centuries (“A story unfinished. His back turned!”), and given what we know of the complexity of Mythal’s will that presides over the creation of his very being, and yet he was still able to muster the strength to kill a fragment of her to fulfil his mission, “I wish it could” was most probably a lament: “Do not ask me to hurt one of the two women I’ve loved on this journey, because if it ever came to it…” he would.

Knowing what I know of Solas, of how he was able to convince himself that Varric’s death (avoidable as it was) was just another necessary step, that it was just another sacrifice, another loss that would be worth something only if he completed his ritual, I have no doubt that Solas would also be able to rationalise hurting Lavellan (which is why in his mind, turning away from her, breaking her heart, leaving with no explanation and aiding her in Trespasser so she could live whatever few years remained in “relative peace” is actually an act of preserving that love). I partially think the reason he reveals the truth in Trespasser (especially for a romanced Lavellan) is in the hopes his ‘truths’ will push her away. But on a deeper note, I think he also thinks of it as some twisted form of repaying her for loving him to the point that he could have almost forgotten what it was to be the Dread Wolf, to just be with her as Solas, that night at Crestwood. Maybe his harsh truths would push her to the point where she’d give up her love for Solas, now that she knew he was the Dread Wolf, freeing her from the shackles of their love. He’s very self-flagellating, all about self-sacrifice for the ultimate goal, the ends always justify the means, he will endure any pain and punishment as long as Arlathan returns in the end.

What is his love of a mortal compared to the despair and loss of an entire empire? Solas views himself as selfish for falling for her, and that nearly broke him, if he was selfish enough to leave the dream of Arlathan behind for her, what would that do to his spirit then?

In his way of thinking, perhaps telling the Inquisitor the truth is a way out, a rationale they can use to justify stopping him or to make it easier to hate him as the Dread Wolf rather than love him as Solas (someone he hasn’t been in so long).

‘Masking’ as the Dread Wolf

During Trespasser, the Inquisitor has every right to despise Solas after all they’ve learned, and I think he half reveals the truth as a tactic so the Inquisitor can have an excuse to hate him, to be driven to anger and have less pull over his choices, once they learn the truth. Solas is particularly skilled at making other’s play the role that makes his own choices seem inevitable, he orchestrates a lot of events to play out in a manner where it's easier for him to talk himself into bringing down the veil.

He goads Elgar’nan to anger easily. He inspires the spirits to fight for him to the death as a necessary distraction during the war. He absolutely allows the Inquisitor to speak to him one last time so he can offer insight, yes, but also so he can easily frame his actions as just and inevitable. But, Oh boy does he get in for a shock if the Inquisitor shows empathy towards him, it scares him because he’s become accustomed to being seen only as the Dread Wolf. To be understood? That gives way to remorse. And remorse gives way to doubt. And he cannot doubt his purpose, twisted as it is, it is all he has left of his former self. Without it he would most likely change into something different. Someone he doesn’t recognise.

This fear intensifies more so if a romanced Lavellan asks to go with him, and in that case, he takes command and distances himself away (rejecting the help of someone close to him; the chance for a possible betrayal; the chance at another Felassan or Mythal [x]; the chance to twist Lavellan outside of her purpose, in this case, the purpose would be love/empathy) but not without showing remorse at having sacrificed yet another relationship for his crusade.

“Ir abelas.”

Sorrow for what cannot be is at the heart of why the Solavellan romance is so powerful, especially because even though both Solas and Lavellan love each other passionately, love alone cannot be enough when faced with regrets. Love would ultimately be stifled. Corrupted into something else over time. And so, for Solas, having loved and lost tragically is better than having loved and corrupted.

He will not do to Lavellan what was done to him, even if it is her choice, because she knows so little, her naivete cannot close the distance of a millenia’s old sea, and it would hurt him immensely to take advantage of her kind heart [x].

By leaving, he keeps her heart pure. And the yearning! Knowing the love is there, but on its own it cannot be invulnerable to corruption, so it is better to lose it than twist it. Ugh! Him leaving Lavellan is the ultimate show of love! IT IS A WISE DECISION. A rare glimpse into pure wisdom. Which is why he kneels beside Lavellan in Trespasser, he does not “Stand Tall” in the face of Wisdom’s heart. He kneels beside her. And when he stands tall again, he is Solas once more, filled with regret, and once through the eluvian, he returns to masking as the Dread Wolf.

Sidenote: It’s especially confounding that Veilguard allows Rook to push the Inquisitor to save or stop him after you’ve reached act 2 despite your world state choice (I think this was done in case they feared the Inquisitor wouldn’t stand by Solas after everything he was revealed to be responsible for in Veilguard, however it doesn’t work because the Inquisitor wasn’t an advisor, Rook never told them what they learned from the wolf statues, so having a stranger hold the ability to make Lavellan keep her promise or not rings hollow). Personally, I wish the Inquisitor’s presence had more weight in the non-Solavellan endings, too. I wish the Inquisitor could end up being the last friend/former love that Solas destroys (if you don’t collect the wolf statues) which then prompts Rook to fight him because Solas’ last tie to empathy failed to redeem him, that the Inquisitor falling is the last straw and Solas snaps, choosing to be a villain in the hopes of being stopped because he can’t stop himself, and not the ‘I am a God’ ending they gave us. Same for if your Inquisitor vows to stop him. I also wish the Inquisitor was the one to do the wolf statue missions. Would have been a nice secondary protagonist mission like the switching perspectives between Kratos and Atreus in GOW: Ragnarök (the old guard and the new; Inquisitor and Rook). I would have loved if they dedicated more dialogue to Inquisition days too, which is why I think Cole should have been a companion (if he wasn’t recruited, he could simply be a compassion spirit that ‘follows’ the greatest pain in the Fade that yearns to be healed, giving a compassionate viewpoint to Solas’ folly; recruited Spirit Cole could have a greater connection to Solas than even Varric, seeing as Cole was most likely a literal representation of Solas rewriting his own history by preventing a spirit from becoming too ‘real’; Human Cole would have a deeper connection to the world of Thedas, and could have been a great tool to prove how change was inevitable, not always a bad thing, and inevitably out of even Solas’ control. But alas, we live with what we are given! Even Imshael could have served in this role! Spirit/Demon of choice and it wasn’t incorporated into the game that supposedly asks you to make the greatest world-changing choice ever; redeem the Dread Wolf or end the age of the Evanuris entirely?!

Now onto the next segment: I want to talk about Solas’ regrets and how I read the ‘love story’ between Solas and Mythal, and why Lavellan (and what she represented) wasn’t enough to get through to him (and that’s a very believable thing, that’s what makes their love both tragic and epic!).

The High Price of Redemption

A romanced Lavellan has the most agency to see through his guises, if she resolves to save him, but even she cannot undo the shackles that still bind him to Mythal—the binds that twisted Wisdom so far from its purpose it became Pride, even when he burned (Mythal) from his face. (Likewise, A close friend Inquisitor who promises to save him is most likely a parallel to Felassan, again, they cannot undo the shackles of regret either.) I fully believe the vallaslin had a deeper magic than simply marking one as being committed/devoted to an Evanuris, I think it linked them magically, and since Solas was the first to burn the vallaslin away, he probably wasn’t as good at severing the link on himself as he was for other elvhen, so maybe a part of Mythal’s will still lingers in him, twisting him to Pride still.

In Veilguard’s final confrontation, I love the intention of showing how Lavellan approaches Solas slowly, as she doesn’t know who she’ll be faced with up those steps, Dread Wolf or Solas. But when she speaks to him, trying to get him to change his mind yet again, forgiving him for his wrongs, we are reassured that Wisdom hasn’t been completely consumed by Pride despite everything we’ve witnessed in the game because he bows his head at her in reverence as he apologises.

He shows humility towards her. He elevates her and her enduring love as worthy of his respect, but he does not consider himself worthy of hers. Thus, Lavellan pries open the door to acceptance but his heart is still not enough. Which is why love alone cannot turn the tide. He’s too broken to accept it. He doesn’t think he deserves it, so the only way out is through; to continue the ritual, to prove he was right. The shackles persist. Varric’s death weighs on his conscience now more than ever. Possibly members of Rook’s team too if they died on his crusade. But he is vulnerable enough for Morrigan to approach, and now Rook can use Mythal’s essence to make the final push. The only way he could be with Lavellan, the only way he could atone for the past and shed the weight of his armour (his crushing duty to the Elvhenan) is as Wisdom, fully restored, unbound by mistakes.

“Ar lasa mala revas.” He could only find absolution once Mythal (the angered and more brash essence of Mythal, the one unchanged by Flemeth and all the human women’s lives she’s been shaped by, but the closest iteration to that of Mythal in Arlathan, the version that he perceives as having every right to be angry at him for turning his back on her, for not going that last final stretch with her and subsequently, not being by her side when she died) severed the final connection: facing his regrets, showing humility and apologizing, while not taking away the blame but sharing it.

What is Benevolence without Wisdom if not Hubris?

We know Elgar’nan was twisted to Tyranny during the war, and I saw a post somewhere where someone wondered what led to his corruption, and what he was before (leadership/command). Likewise, Mythal was not above corruption.

So far, I’ve seen a lot of takes on Solas’ ties to Mythal, the power dynamic of being a student/disciple enamoured (could be romantic) with the benevolence of Mythal, but not how Mythal’s purpose was possibly also twisted towards hubris the moment she asked Wisdom to turn physical and build weapons from its knowledge, twisting it to Pride. Without Elgar’nan’s tyranny to rally against after the war with the Titans, Mythal would most likely turn a similar route, seeing her ruling as “necessary” for the people: “If not me then who?”. And that is a very short stop and quick drop to “I am your all-powerful ruler, I liberated you, and only I can guide the way”. Benevolence twisted by hubris can easily turn to Tyranny too, only one more subtle, a kind of cultish indoctrination compared to violent subjugation. If Solas had not turned his back on Mythal when she chose to be Evanuris (a god over her people) then they most likely would have made the worst (best) pair in the Evanuris. Pride is the Seventh Deadliest Sin. But imagine Pride next to Godhood?! That is frightening. So, when Solas burns the vallaslin, walks away and works against the Evanuris, I believe that he also inadvertently stops Mythal from becoming a corrupted version of herself. The sorrow at having lost her closest confidant and “love” grounds her, keeps her saintly in Solas’ mind, and in some ways, perhaps saves the Elvhen empire from a worse fate than him erecting the veil to begin with. But neither of them ever consider this. And I think that sort of self-blindness perfectly encapsulates how flawed both Mythal and Solas are. Now onto love.

Solas and Mythal – a Love too complex to simply classify as mortal ‘Love’.

There’s no doubt Mythal and Solas shared a deep bond, one that definitely had love in it, when we hear Mythal calling him ‘love’, without the possessive ‘my’ in front of it, it’s easy to misconstrue what type of love they share. A small nitpick, but like a thorn, it applies sometimes just enough pressure to change a perspective. Not calling Solas “My love” but instead choosing to simply use “love” works within those wonderful ambiguities/complexities that Weekes thrives in.

If one started out as a spirit, it’s safe to say concepts like familial bonds, romantic bonds, and blood ties mean little to nothing. There is no one type of love and there is every kind of love all at once. It is only once physical bodies are introduced, that physical touch, the ability to stab someone in the back, to kiss out of affection, to hug out of empathy, to strike out of anger, that love now becomes this twisted thing too. There are no spirits of love because spirits always possessed love, but there are demons of Desire (Gluttony) and of Rage (love denied).

I believe, from GDL’s acting skills, his soft whisper, his almost submissive smallness in the breadth of Mythal’s already soft voice, that Solas was in love with Mythal, devoted as a student, beguiled by her benevolence, content even in her shadow, and possibly star-struck. He was in love with someone who doesn’t have the possibility to love him back the same, it is not in her nature to love those beneath her in the same intensity that those who look up to her do. It’s like a priest being in love with God. The priest can devote themselves, sacrifice everything, but a God will always love their flock equally, but they can still play favourites.

Benevolence cannot be enamoured with Wisdom because to be truly benevolent they must possess Wisdom but there is also Pride to be had in walking beside benevolence, but they can never be on equal footing. Likewise, Solas’ love is not reciprocated entirely by Mythal, but she does love him back in her own way. While Mythal is definetly Solas’ first love, layered and complex, it is also strangled by regrets and twisted by uneven scales of power. It would never be a nurturing love, only a consuming kind.

When he speaks of Mythal during the Solavellan ending, he calls her his “oldest friend”, much like what Mythal says, (paraphrasing) “would you have me be angry at my oldest companion whose experienced so much with me”. Because friendship is perhaps the easiest way to describe their companionship. They went through many iterations, one certainly holding romantic tensions (specifically from younger Solas), but ultimately, with that much time shared, kinship/friendship becomes the easiest to surmise. You can love your friends, fall in love with them, fall out of love with them, only to love them again, be disappointed in them, etc.

Media today is flushed with romance as a linchpin for driving a hero to make dire choices, and that has warped our perception of how a platonic/non-romance-based relationship can be all-consuming, and sometimes more impassioned than strict romance. But, to make it easier for people to understand Solas’ motivations, it's easier to see their love in the light Taash sees it (an unreliable, somewhat “still juvenile” narrator, in that they are still growing into themselves and their culture and the world): “They were doing it”.

However, Bellara, a companion whose entire companion story is linked to her strong, deeply character-driving relationship with her brother (platonic love) refutes that reading by saying (paraphrasing here): “We don’t know if their ‘love’ is the same type of love we tend to think of in a masculine and feminine relationship.”

Felassan’s letter after the Mythal Dragon fight alludes to Solas having been in love with Mythal, but nothing about how she felt. This is why I consider the Solas/Mythal relationship to be more of a one-sided romantic love, but a requited ‘love’ relationship for them both.

A parallel I find so compelling: Solas and Mythal vs Briala and Celene. Solas and Briala both hold deep emotions for people in great power with the ability to end a tyrannical cycle of subjugation, enslavement and classism, yet for both of these ruler’s charisma and well-meaning intent, they often are swayed to side with tyranny. For Mythal, that was Elgarnan, the Evanuris who made all the other’s worse tyrants; as well as her own hubris for believing her presence alone could dampen the ravenous hunger for power that the rest of the Evanuris held at the small prospect of leading the Elvhen in a time of confusion (being a North Star is hard when all the other lights around you aim to blind the flock into submission). For Celene, this is more about the nuances of retaining favour, pull and power over other noble families, their backing (be it financial, political or simply cut-throat), and their support so she can be the ‘lesser of two evils’ compared to Gaspard’s warmongering personality and Florianne simply being a puppet with no backbone. Both Briala and Solas are turned to pawns despite their immense strength and compassion for their respective elven plights; Briala is rendered a fangless lion (for lack of a better metaphor) if she is reunited with Celene, whereas if she is chosen to puppet Gaspard, there’s every likelihood her story could parallel a ‘power-mad’ Solas if he’d been tethered to Rage (at betrayal) and not Regret (at having not rejected Mythal when she asked him to take a physical body) throughout his tenure as the Dread Wolf.

Solas and Lavellan – a Heart that was never intended to be Given/Taken

Now I will compare the lack of possessives in front of Mythal’s “love” to Solas declaring Lavellan as ‘Vhenan’ and then ‘Ar lath, ma Vhenan’ vs ‘Ar lath ma vhenan'; again, the coma is the thorn, the pause that shapes the quiet unsaid things we can deduce. In the Trespasser cutscene DGL puts the pause after “Ar lath”, even though the subtitles construct the sentence with Vhenan as a proper noun since it’s a nickname often used by Solas: “Ar lath ma, Vhenan”. But I believe Solas actually says “Ar lath, ma Vhenan”.

With “Ar lath, ma Vhenan” the stressor is after the pause, so the line reads: “I love [you], my heart.” And with “Ar lath ma, Vhenan” it makes even less structural sense but can be inferred to mean: “I love you, Heart”.

The possessiveness of “My” is what definitively differentiates the love Solas feels for Lavellan as one more of the romantic side, it is a love of yearning and desire and a wish to have one last good thing that is pure and incorruptible. The one thing he had left to give. His heart. But that does not mean his heart is enough! The rest of him is still bound to the love of Mythal that was twisted through the ages. That changed him. And given how Pride often comes before a fall, I absolutely understand why Solas is actually very brash and ill-considering when he’s romancing Lavellan (“The kiss was ill-considered”/”It would be kinder in the long run”/”I wanted to show you what you mean to me”). He's on a precarious cliff during Inquisition. His first plan failed. He's allowed ancient elvhen magic to fall into a blighted Tevinter magister's hands. Literally everything the Inquisition did could have been for nought if the Mark had fallen to the wrong person. Things could have easily fallen apart for Solas too, so why not indulge in something trifling and fleeting? Execpt it wasn't trifling. Nor was it fleeting. And when he saw that the fall could potentially not happen, that the Inquisitor could do it, save Thedas and retrieve the orb, he was struck by the gravity of his brashness, of letting impulses control him instead of acting according to a plan. But it was too late. They'd both fallen for each other.

Solas didn’t expect to form entanglements within the Inquisition. He was committed. He was angry at the world, “walking through a sea of tranquil”, called flat-ear by the Dalish that later chased him from their village when he proved he was the Dread Wolf. He was despised by people who looked like him. Spirits were constantly being abused and turned into demons. People erected monuments to heroes who slew demons. Mages were caged. Elves were subjugated. The empire fell. Humans razed the lands with their wars and petty squabbles of succession. The darkspawn tainted the land. The dwarves would never dream. Solas awoke to the worst possible fate; in his eyes, it was all his fault.

So when he kisses Lavellan in the Fade, impulsively, he isn’t kissing her there because it is less ‘real’ than if they kissed while she was awake, it makes it so much more real. He’s kissing her in the space where he is most himself. Where he can shed the body he was forced to build and trap himself within, the body of Pride. He is acting on the impulses of an enlivened Wisdom spirit that does not consider tomorrow, for the first time in a long time. It isn’t a long game with Lavellan, like so much of his life has been about always thinking to the future, always considering the outcome, machinating, scheming, the wiles and woes of every trickster god in mythology. It’s being in the moment with her that is all-consuming. It lowers his guard, leaves him vulnerable, and when she enquires about the Fade or spirits or histories, he gets to be useful as pure Wisdom again.

Lavellan challenging him when he first shows animosity or irritation towards the Dalish (a prideful act), and then him being taken aback when she explains that maybe the Dalish could be shown another way (making him consider her words, being given a morsel of wisdom back, reminding him of his old self), these are all small moments where Solas can begin to see springs of hope in the broken world. And that’s terrifying. It means he’s destroying not just himself, but the memory of Mythal and Arlathan too, all for the love of a woman who fell for an apostate.

The best, most genuine unmasking of Solas for me is during Wicked Hearts, when he’s tipsy on wine, has no inhibitions, and revels in the intrigue, the gossip, the dancing, the music (something we now know is important enough to have an entire music room in the Lighthouse), the sex! He is at his most relaxed, and then he asks Lavellan to dance, not caring about how it would look for the “Inquisitor’s serving man, Solas” to be intimate in a fucking Orlesian palace with the Herald of Andraste, right after stopping an assassination attempt! He finds comfort in the world of Thedas at that moment. Something he rarely shows so outright.

When he takes Lavellan to Crestwood to confess, I believe removing her vallaslin wasn’t entirely just for her, it wasn’t just to free her from slave markings or to simply reveal a form of a truth he wanted to tell her, it was to resolve himself of what his first purpose was supposed to be, what she distracted him from. Removing the vallaslin had been something he’d done for the slaves of Arlathan, it was what earned him the mantle of Dread Wolf. When he removes Lavellan’s vallaslin, he resets.

Thedas cannot allow Wisdom to truly exist without fear of corruption to Pride, Thedas the world he was responsible for shaping, literally the Maker of the Veil, and he falls for a woman Heralded as Andraste’s Chosen One, Mythal’s incarnation in the South. The irony. The cruel, cruel irony. The Inquisition is tied to his past, every Andrastian he meets, every Dalish person with vallaslin on their face, every slave or city elf. Tevinter worshiping the dragons that still have the essences of the Old Gods. His heart alone cannot withstand all of the punishing, gruelling, oppressive weight that is Thedas. Even for Lavellan. So he frames their romance as this tragic, short-lived tale that was beautiful but ultimately destined to end. He expects it to pass for her, she’s mortal after all. But he also leaves his heart with her, literally giving her power over the last uncorrupted part of himself. Think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann at the end of World’s End, but metaphorically. He gives her his heart to safe keep as he goes on a journey that could corrupt a heart, turn it cold and bitter, destroy it.

Ar lasa mala revas. You are free.

He frees his heart.

Lets it go.

Twice!

So only once he is relinquished of his regrets, once Mythal does the same for him, only then is there “Nothing left except their love”. Because Lavellan still held his heart there was still something left after. Something beyond despair and regret and loss. He had given his heart to her to safekeep. And she did. Lavellan returns his heart to him when he is freed. What Mythal had to break so Solas could heal right again (like a bone), Lavellan casts a splint around so it can be set and heal properly. This is the difference between Mythal’s love and Lavellan’s. Both Mythal’s love and forgiveness broke him, but Lavellan’s love gives him the strength to Stand Tall one last time.

Solas, before Pride alone, as Wisdom (perhaps Solas always meant both Standing Tall and Wisdom, for Wisdom can grant one pride to stand tall for what they believe in), finds contentment with the rare and marvellous spirit that endured (his Vhenan). Wisdom endured because of humanity, something benevolence is beyond.

Bellanaris

When Lavellan offers to go with him, to continue on the dinanshiral that she already considers herself a part of, Solas is legitimately taken aback. His expression is soft yet full of disbelief and awe. He actually stops walking a few frames before Lavellan says this, as if hoping Lavellan would say something to him!

And then she basically proposes to him! “Bellanaris!” I absolutely adore the fact that Lavellan promises them eternity. A vow as sacred as a death right, as protected as an ancient, elvhen, undisturbed burial ground in the face of Orlesian colonialisation. They endured and now they will have an eternity. For once, we have an elvish tale that is not a curse, it is a love story with reunion at its core, where both elves reclaim something precious that was denied them.

Lastly, i am absolutely frothing at the mouth that Solas and Lavellan primarily speak in elvish! And even more feral at the fact Solas does not try to talk her out of joining him (because this sweet talker very well could!). He simply tells her where he is going is terrible. And she shuts that shit down immediately. No repeat of Trespasser. She's standing beside him, the South has all but fallen, whatever ties yet survive are strained, and she has fought the good fight for 8 years. I think the Inquisitor was about ready to leave Thedas behind.

The last decisions Solas makes are of his own volition. Entering the Fade for atonement. Stepping into the Fade with Lavellan (It was confirmed by Weekes that Lavellan’s presence in the Fade prison would fundamentally change it in a way we haven’t seen!). Thanking Rook for giving him one last shot at getting happiness. All his own!

This is the look of a man finally reunited with his wife! So much emotion in ONE frame. God! There’s never been a character like him. A love story like theirs! I’m so happy I got to see this ending. Full circle!

P.S. If you read this far, woah nelly! That’s crayyzeee, so here are some more great pieces: Why it was important for Lavellan to kneel for Solas as he knelt for her in Trespasser in the Solavellan ending [x], and here’s a great deep-dive on Solas as a spirit of Wisdom [x].

#dav #dav spoilers #solas #solas x lavellan #solavellan #mythal #datv spoilers #dragon age veilguard #veilguard spoilers #dragon age #dragon age veilguard spoilers #the dread wolf finally took her #his war has ended #their love may endure for eternity

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jjunieworld · 5 months ago

Text

BROOKLYN, BABY! ˒˒ 휴닝카이

your boyfriend’s in a band—the biggest rock band in the world, in fact, as the lead singer and lead guitarist. except, he isn’t your boyfriend and you’re just a fan who somehow had the stars align for you.

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ huening kai x fem!reader 𓄵 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 rockstar!txt

genre﹙📓﹚⸝⸝⸝ strangers to one-night stand, smut, rockstar!kai, groupie!reader, rockstar au, band au, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sleeping around, non-idol au, kai and the boys are honestly a menace lol, reader is kinda obsessive

warnings ‎⸝⸝⸝ unprotected sex + pull out method (stay safe!!), mean dom!kai, facials, rough sex, dacryphilia, ruined makeup, creampie, some cum swallowing, blowjob / deepthroating, face fucking, degradation, petnames (baby, good girl), name calling (bitch, slut, whore), manhandling, dirty talk, hints of a size kink

kipo’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ hehe this is actually kinda a prequel to a bigger rockstar!kai idea that i have!! not sure when i’ll get to it but stay tuned for when it’s posted ^^ i recommend listening to true romance by pinkpantheress!! also this was requested but tumblr deleted the ask i’m so sorry to whoever sent it! (◞‸◟；) enjoy!! all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ♡

∿ [ 3.3k ] ⋆ [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]

you sigh as you lazily surf through channels on your tv, the silver lighting illuminating you in your dark room. you were bored out of your mind and there seemed to be nothing on the tv as you continued to click through channels. suddenly, your eyes spotted a familiar face and you froze on the channel it was currently on.

“the rockstar and punk rock prince himself has once again caused distress for hotel owners during his world tour. reports say that him and his band mates leave the rooms trashed with broken beer bottles everywhere, they blast music into the early hours, and there were even reports of doors hanging off the hinges. the owners even say that the amount of women—“

your eyes widen as you watch the various clips of kai playing his guitar at one of his recent concerts, completely in his element. your mind drones out the reporter as your gaze is practically glued to the screen. the channel shows multiple videos of the lead singer and lead guitarist of your favorite band ever—either clips of him and his band mates playing at their shows or paparazzi clips of him exiting and entering hotels. you can’t help the smile that forms on your face.

sighing dreamily to yourself, he was just so sexy. especially with his new silver hair that he showed up with at one of his shows. the channel showed a close up of his hands playing the guitar and you could already feel the slickness build up on your panties.

you heard about his multiple relations with women and you desperately wished that you were part of it. all you needed was one chance. one chance to get close to him and you were sure that he would end up falling in love with you. maybe he would even give you a behind the scenes of his rockstar life, take you on tour with him and his band.

excitement built up in you and you ran over to your closet to fuss over your concert outfit again. the concert of his you were going to was tomorrow and you just couldn’t wait. he was finally playing in your hometown, brooklyn. you’ve been to so many of his band’s concerts with no luck, but this time you had a good feeling. this time, you were going to strike gold.

you had been planning your outfit for weeks now. you had to stand out, and you had just the outfit. one that you knew for sure kai would like.

that’s where you were now—front row of his concert in your little outfit as you waited with the others in the crowd for the band to come on stage. you adjusted your outfit again, albeit, it was a bit skimpy, but with your cropped shirt that basically showed your tits, short skirt so short that your round ass was hanging out with fishnets underneath, and platform boots, you were sure to gain kai’s attention.

the crowd cheers as your favorite band, skipping stones, comes onto the stage and you joined right in with them, raising your hands in the air and jumping up and down as they set up their equipment. they begin playing and you let the music flow through you as you start to dance.

the band is interacting with the crowd, getting them riled up, when suddenly yeonjun shouts into the mic, “are you fucking ready?!” the crowd cheers one more as the beginning chords of your favorite song start to play. you gasp, a smile lighting up your face as you start to sing the lyrics along with kai.

“been free falling into the sky. under the cliff, at the edge of paradise.”

he held his microphone out to the crowd so the audience could sing along with the next line, it was his band mate soobin’s part. at the top of your lungs you screamed, “don’t know how to fly, but i’m gonna try to let go.”

kai’s eyes drifted over your area as yeonjun began his lines and you screamed louder. his gaze found yours and your eyes widened, the big smile on your face growing. he scanned your outfit, the corner of his mouth rising slightly as the song continued behind him. subtly you raised your arms in a way that pushed your tits together and made your shirt rise as you cheered again.

beomgyu and yeonjun made their way over to your section as they sang their parts. “i throw myself, throw myself, throw myself. free falling, falling, falling, say!”

you threw your head in the air with them as the chorus plays, cheering more when taehyun moved towards you singing, “throw it away, your body, yeah!” the girl next to you almost fainted and you grabbed onto her to keep her upright. she gave you an embarrassed smile and muttered a thank you.

the boys moved around the stage, holding their mics out for the crowd to sing as they played their instruments. kai made his way over to where you stood. he bent down right in front of you, moving his guitar out of the way as he found your eyes. internally, you felt like you were on fire and that any minute now you were going to faint, but you knew that this was the moment. you couldn’t mess this up.

you pressed up against the barricade holding the crowd back as much as you could to get as close to him as possible. kai raised his eyebrows and mouthed, “sing with me?” you nodded fervently. he jumped down from the stage and the security guard in your section raced to get near him. you heart was beating a mile a minute and everything felt so surreal as kai stood in front of you.

“ready?” he said into the mic with a grin and you nodded. you were sure your smile could be seen from space right now. around you the crowd erupted, but you were so focused on kai that it felt like just the two of you. his forehead brushed against yours and he held the mic in between the two of you as you both began singing.

“open your eyes. look at the ground over there. don’t avoid it, never.”

kai backed away slightly with a smile as soobin sang. “good job!” he mouthed. he put his guitar pick between his fingers and reached out towards you. your eyes widened when he placed it between your lips. pushing the hair off his forehead, he winked at you and made his way back onto the stage.

you grabbed the guitar pick from between your lips just as the girl next to you shook your shoulders and screamed next to your ear. you turned to her with a surreal smile, joining her. if you weren’t madly in love with kai then, you definitely were now.

for the rest of the concert kai’s eyes remained on you as he made his way about the stage during different songs. at the end of the concert during their final song he did his signature ending—smashing his guitar up and throwing it to the eager people in the crowd waiting to catch it.

the band said their final goodbyes and you felt electrified as you made your way towards the exit of the venue. you were sure kai was gonna bring you back to his hotel room, it was just a matter of patience. and just as suddenly, a security guard was tapping you on the shoulder with a firm, “ma’am.”

you adjusted your outfit once again, bringing your shirt down so more of your cleavage showed as the security guard guided you backstage. there was various chatter and the figures of the band showed up in your vision once you rounded a corner.

you couldn’t believe this was actually, finally happening.

“take her to the hotel,” kai said over his shoulder after a quick glance towards you. he then walked off with a staff member. your heart felt like it was going to burst from your chest any minute. the only thought running through your head was that dreams really do come true.

yeonjun walked up to you with a grin. he wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he looked down at you, “when you get bored of him i’m just across the hall. you’d have a much funner time with me instead.” you giggled and he gave you a wink and went to put away his equipment, but not before eyeing your breasts.

time flew past and all of a sudden you were taking the elevator up to kai’s room. the security guard opened the door to his room for you and stood to the side so you could enter. “he will be in shortly,” the guard said before shutting the door behind him. the lock clicked and you sighed as you took a look around the room.

the hotel room was very luxurious, but no doubt that would be ruined by the time the band left brooklyn. you removed your shoes and made your way to the bed. how should you present yourself? should you get naked and wait for him on the bed, or was that too much? either way your clothes were coming off, that was obvious. you were just glad that you decided on wearing a thong. quickly, you stripped the lacy thing off.

in the end you decided on just laying on the bed, angling yourself towards the door as you waited. not long after you heard footsteps and fumbling at the door.

kai stumbled in the room and carried the scent of alcohol in the air with him. he fell forward against the door and it closed loudly. when he turned and saw you on the bed waiting for him he cursed lowly and his heavy gaze traveled your body. “fuck,” kai cursed again, louder.

you smiled slightly, “i’ve been waiting for you.” you sat up from your lying position and moved to the edge of the bed. you crossed your legs, making sure kai got a view of the fact that you definitely weren’t wearing any underwear and his eyes glanced at the discarded thong on the floor.

slowly he moved towards you while unbuttoning his jeans. “on your knees, mouth open,” kai demanded. you abided, sliding from the edge of the bed and letting your knees hit the plush rug below.

your mouth hung open and you stared up at him with innocent eyes. he pushed down his jeans and kicked them to the side. your eyes widened. his large cock hovered just inches from your face, the long and veiny shaft practically throbbing as precum dripped from the angry red tip. you inhaled deeply as your gaze slowly rose back to kai’s.

“that’s a good girl.” kai cupped the side of your face, small smile playing on his lips. he rested his heavy cock on your awaiting tongue. “now suck my dick like the whore that you are.”

you wrapped your lips around his tip and slowly took more and more of him until you felt him in the back of your throat. you kept your eyes on his as you hollowed your cheeks and breathed in through your nose. his hand threaded it’s way into your hair at the back of your head and gripped tightly. kai then moved your head up and down his cock, groaning loudly.

your eyes watered as you gagged around his length, dribbles of your spit pouring out from the corners of your mouth. you whimpered and kai groaned louder, his other hand finding it’s way into your hair as he thrusted into your mouth. “fuck,” kai drawled out, “i really do love how good all of you can use your mouths. such per—shit! such perfect little sluts.” his head was thrown back as his hips snapped against you.

you let his words about the other women he’s fucked go in one ear and out the other, pretending that he was only referring to you. in your mind it was just the two of you, and only you could make him feel this good.

his cock twitched and suddenly you felt his heavy load slide down your throat. you moaned around him looking up at him through tear filled eyes, no doubt your mascara was running down your cheeks and your makeup was completely ruined. kai looked down at you and laughed at the sight. “pathetic,” he mumbled with a smirk as he pulled out of your mouth with a sickening ‘pop!’ kai gripped your chin as you panted, smirk widening, “i love pretty girls who cry for me.”

you smiled up at him. you still couldn’t believe that all of your dreams were coming true at this very moment. adjusting yourself, you pressed your thighs together and swallowed thickly. you need friction, any friction, and you were hoping that your night with kai didn’t end here.

“bed,” kai demanded, letting go of you. he shrugged out of the jacket he was wearing and you obediently got onto the bed like he told you to. you were dripping and your breathing was labored as you watched him take the shirt he was wearing off, revealing his toned body. your skin felt like it was on fire and you were trembling.

kai moves to the bed towards you, naked body glowing the lamplight. he settles between your open legs, cock hanging just above where you need him the most. without wasting any time, he grabs at the hem of your cropped shirt and pulls it over your head. he then reaches behind you to unclasp your black lacy bra, discarding the items somewhere to the side without looking.

the sudden cold air on your skin gives you goosebumps and makes your nipples perk up. kai cups your tits and rubs the pads of his thumbs across them briefly, hungry eyes taking in your half naked form. his big hands then grab at your hips and flips you so you’re on all fours, ass up in the air for him.

looking behind you as he palms your ass through your fishnets, he pushes your short skirt up to your waist and spreads your asscheeks apart so he can get a good view of your sopping pussy. “so fucking wet for me,” kai mutters.

kai rubs his tip between your wet folds teasingly before he aligns his hard cock with your entrance through the hole of your fishnets and buries himself inside you until he bottoms out. your arms give out on you and you moan as your cunt gets completely stretched by his thickness. kai runs a hand down your back and pushes you down into the mattress more as he starts thrusting roughly into your poor, throbbing pussy.

you cry out, small whimpers falling out of your mouth with each hard thrust as you feel more tears prick at the corner of your eyes. “that’s it, baby,” kai murmurs in a half moan as his skin slaps against yours lewdly. his big hands grabs your hips and he fucks into you harder, his tip repeatedly hitting your sweet spot and making your eyes roll back.

kai grabs your arms, pulling your elbows back behind you to use a leverage while he pounds into you. the action pulls you up from the bedsheets and you moan louder as tears of pleasure stream down your face. “fuck, fuck, fuck!“ you cry out, “t-too big!”

“take it, bitch,” kai grits out, not slowing his relentless speed. “be a good little slut and take this dick.”

loud, wet sounds reverberated off the walls of the hotel room and they only got louder as you came around him. your cum dripped down your shaking thighs and your ears started to ring, drowning out your hiccuping moans.

“shit,” you heard kai moan out and then suddenly you were on your back staring up at him. your arms grabbed onto his wide shoulders as he brought his lips to yours in a sloppy kiss. you were in complete heaven and your mind was foggy with the idea of him and how good he was fucking you right now.

you wanted so badly to mark his pretty back up with your nails. make him yours and much as he’s making you his right now and leave red lines down the soft skin. but you were too fucked out to even apply the pressure that was needed, you were already weakly holding onto his shoulders for support.

kai pulled away from you at the same time as he pushed his thick cock right back into your cum filled cunt. your mouth opened in a shocked moan and you fell back into the pillows. kai grabbed your legs that were around his waist and moved them so they were pushed together and hovering inches above you. whimpering at the new angle of his cock going deeper into you, you palmed at the blankets and grasped them harshly.

he started back up his vigorous pace while holding your ankles to keep you in place with one of his hands. you leaned your head to the side to watch him with hooded eyes and a slack mouth. kai’s head hung low as he watched his cock disappear over and over again into your pussy, low grunts leaving his open mouth as his chest raised and fell heavily. the muscles of his body flexed and you felt yourself clench down on him from the sight.

kai threw his head back briefly, groaning out a string of curses, before he moved your legs to rest on his shoulders. “fuck… your pussy feels so good.”

you felt the way his cock throbbed as he tightly grabbed your legs on his shoulders and snapped his hips harshly against yours. the way he was fucking into you combined with the sensation of your fishnets rubbing at your core had you cumming all over him again.

“shit,” kai hissed sharply as he quickly pulled his twitching cock out of your messy cunt. you whined at the loss while kai removed your legs from his shoulders and pulled you into a sitting position.

he sat up on his knees and you opened your mouth wide and stuck your tongue out like the good girl that you were. kai stroked his wet cock hurriedly above your face, moaning as white strings of his cum landed all over your pretty features and on your tongue, painting them a pretty white. you licked around your lips and swallowed it all, brightly smiling up at him.

kai ran his fingers through his silver hair and breathed heavily, “good fucking girl.”

he tilts his head to the side. with one hand he moves the messy hair in your face and your heart soared. this was it. you just knew it.

in a demeaning tone kai asks, “was it everything you ever wanted?”

he then moved towards the edge of the bed before getting off of it completely. kai threw one of the towels hanging near the bathroom door at you, “clean yourself up.” with that, he disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door loudly behind him.

you heart sank a little in your chest as you heard the muffled sounds of the shower water run. the dreams of the two of you cuddling, spending the night domestically were completely crushed. you grabbed the towel that landed on your stomach and wiped yourself off. you tried to stay positive, he had just come from back from a concert and fucked you. maybe he was just tired?

you wobbly got off the bed and put your clothes back on, no doubt it will be difficult to walk later. once you had slid your thong back on you heard kai’s muffled shout from the shower, “don’t wait up!” you adjusted your twisted skirt on your body as your heart sank deeper.

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